• Ferengi

    Deafening Silence

    As you humans would say, I’m all ears. ME: Why did the bankrupt lady go deaf? CRAIG: Um, why? ME: Because her bills were in arrears. CRAIG: … ME: *laughs hysterically* CRAIG: You’re not…

  • Notes TV

    If Only Life Were Like TV

    Annoying people… Would simply disappear, no questions asked, no explanation needed. Like Mandy in The West Wing. No matter how dire things became… You’d face them in a divine outfit, with the perfect little handbag.…

  • Notes

    Today Is The Day

    Monday Today is the day. The day I finally begin. I know I’ve talked about it for, like, ever, but today it HAPPENS. I’m really doing it this time. It’s perfect. It’s Monday. A…

  • Notes

    That Guy With The Thing From That Movie

    Last weekend I was at dinner with friends who are just starting to embrace the world-at-your-fingertips convenience of smart phones. They’re considering a poodle-cross and were wondering which breeds would be best. Now we’re all…

  • Notes

    Some People Are So Rude

    You know when someone ignores your text? And it’s an urgent text? And you get all cranky and riled up? And you start to think of how that person annoys you? And things you’ve…

  • Notes

    Icy Reception

    Today’s SMH Superquiz has an error. Q11: What currency is used in Iceland? A (incorrect): Krona. A (correct): Cold hard cash. Bahahahahahahahahahaha! I’ll see myself out. ?   Image: The lake at Vatnajökull, Iceland by Tristan Ferne under CC…

  • little match girl

    Other Side

    Since moving to The Other Side of the studio I’m finding it so hard to tune out gym antics in the mirror! Bodybuilders watching and discussing us between sets. Equipment being used in original…

  • Rotary phone


    Don’t do this very often but tonight I’m hosting a little dinner party. For those of you about to text me out of concern for my guests’ welfare and enquire tactfully what I’m making,…

  • chocolate fondant

    I Had One Job

    When you are left in charge of picking the restaurant for a girls’ night out and your choice is based on chatting with the chef about how he prepares the hot chocolate fondant (runny…

  • belted sweater

    Bring Back The Belted Sweater

    Dear friends. These 28 ads are definitely the best thing you will see all day. Nay, all week. 28 Hilarious 1970s Men’s Fashion Ads Clearly we need to bring back the belted sweater. The 4-piece…