EDIT: Guys, I have done a TERRIBLE job of telling this story. I meant to amuse you. This only happened because I knew I was going to faint and STILL TRIED TO TIDY MY DESK FIRST. So dumb. I thought you guys would laugh. Please know I’m fine! My GP (who I was seeing anyway) weighed me and took my BP and was happy with everything. 💕

Tomorrow I’m having a drink with my friend Paul, whom I’ve not seen in more than 30 years. I had hoped his first thought on seeing me would not be, Wow she took up cage fighting. But as I have both a black eye and a fat lip this now seems likely. 

Did I sustain these injuries on one of my walks? Was I mauled by a jealous Rottweiler while talking to his cute puppy friend? Did a street brawl break out after I inadvertently sang saucy lyrics passing someone’s boyfriend? Did the dance-walking simply become too violent? 

In fact, I was sitting at my desk having the thought: I feel super super faint SO I’LL JUST TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO CLOSE DOWN ALL MY APPS AND TIDY MY DESK before I go lie dow—. I promptly lost consciousness and woke up on the way down when I smacked into the desk edge with my face. 😔

Why did I faint? Well I do FEEL faint pretty often, as people are forever talking about things requiring OINTMENT, and putting gross surgery scenes in TV shows. But last night I was just out of the shower and maybe a bit lightheaded, and I hadn’t eaten as much as usual, and *busted lip quivers* it had been a very emotional day. 

Paul used to be a cop so he may doubt my story, finding it no more believable but considerably more entertaining than ‘I walked into a door’. But I suspect he’ll take a long look at me, order more wine, and laugh his head off. 😕

PS I am totally fine! 

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski.

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Bonjour! I'm an introvert, minimalist, and award-winning author. I've managed to make a mess of most things and a minor success of a few. My books are: How To Be Elegant • How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World • How To Be Thin In A World Of Chocolate. Read more about me here. To stay in touch, follow me on Instagram or sign up for my delightful dispatches.

My Brand New Book Is Here!
How To Be Elegant 21 Rules For Grace Poise Charm
Bon Mots
My Store For Introverts
Louder Minds Store
How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World
How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World
A Year of Style, Simplicity, and Self-Care
A Chic Year Style Simplicity Self-Care
How To Be Thin In A World Of Chocolate [Audiobook]
How To Be Thin In A World Of Chocolate