Michele Connolly

How To Survive The Rest Of The Pandemic

Ah, life in a global pandemic.

This has been quite the boon for some, like billionaires with massive online businesses; and yeast. For others it’s meant the heartbreak of having to postpone a 500-of-our-closest-friends destination wedding or the upsetting discovery that a close friend has started their own podcast.

But for most of us it’s been both ups and downs, not just of our weight, but also emotionally.

Still, now we’ve reached a point where we know what we’re up against with the rona, we’ve found some version of a new normal. So it’s a good time to recompose ourselves and look ahead to how things will be for this next phase. To help, I’ve come up with tips I’d like to share with you.

Here’s how to survive the rest of the pandemic.

Adapt your fitness regime

Remember how motivated we were at the start of lockdown?

Day 1: Sign up for fitness apps, design a rigorous exercise schedule, order a yoga mat, work out like a demon.

Days 2-7: Bedridden.

Now, we get out of breath opening a bag of CCs. So if you step on the scales and find, um, your face mask weighs 3 kilos, then it may be time for an intervention. These tips can help…

  • I find exercise videos great. Without a live instructor to worry about, I’ve developed variations that suit my goals much better. For example, last night when they said: do 16 burpees, I chose a slight modification where I shut off the video and ordered a pizza.
  • What if you’re keen to try resistance training but have no weights at home? Simply use the weight of existential dread during a global pandemic. You will reach fatigue faster than you think. In fact, I might have a small lie down now…
  • You can also adapt your workout for the times we live in. Here are some activities well suited to a pandemic:
    • Moving items from today’s to-do list to tomorrow’s, or, if feeling truly energized, to next week’s
    • Back-peddling on that promise to join your friend for a walk
    • Juggling several series on Netflix at once
    • Activating your almonds (I don’t know what this means).

Last night when they said: do 16 burpees, I chose a slight modification where I shut off the video and ordered a pizza.

Re-think your goals

When we first found ourselves in quarantine, we saw an upside. Finally, we had time to complete the DIY home project we began in 2004. We still haven’t started, but we had time. Now, with greater self-knowledge, we can choose more realistic goals. Here are some suggestions…

  • Instead of: finish organizing photos, try: finish Netflix
  • Instead of: bake the perfect sourdough, try: conduct an exhaustive taste test and eat the perfect sourdough
  • Instead of: finally write that novel, try: finally unsubscribe from all those novel-writing newsletters
  • Instead of: complete a 30-day cleanse, try: wrap it up in 3 days.

Up your Zoom game

With Zoom now a part of work life, how can we improve the experience for everyone? Some ideas…

  • If you’re still late to every work meeting even though your ‘commute’ now involves putting down the snack and picking up the laptop, then could the problem in fact not be public transport / the damn elevators in this building / global warming… and possibly be you?
  • When someone rambles interminably, play the Your Speech Is Too Long Fanfare. Look perplexed about where it’s coming from.

Start making plans again

For introverts like me, lockdown revealed something truly shocking: turns out we actually liked talking to one or two people every now and then. This was brought home to me when some cops knocked on my door to ask about a neighbor and I invited them in for coffee while the key plot points of Misery played in my head. If this resonates with you…

  • Now is a great time for introverts to make social plans. You will cancel them, but your friends already know that. Play along when they text they’ve ‘put it in the diary’.
  • For me, this is the first year ever I’ve not been camping, because of Covid. Normally it’s because I hate camping. What plans can you not make due to the pandemic?

This is the first year ever I’ve not been camping, because of Covid. Normally it’s because I hate camping.

Improve your part in family relations

If there’s one thing we’ve all had the mental space to do, it’s take a good, hard look at ourselves in the context of our relationships. What we see might not be pretty, and not just because the pandemic has curtailed our beauty appointments. Instead of blaming them, ask how you can be more of your best self…

  • If you find yourself yelling at your partner from another room THAT’S NOT WHERE THAT GOES (I have definitely never done this) then enforced closeness may be fraying your nerves. Take a breath, calm yourself, and gently scream this mantra: How do they not know where that goes after all these years?
  • Honestly I have no tips for you because your partner sounds like a very annoying person. You can tell by the way they press the buttons on the remote.

Accept people as they are

There will always be people who do the wrong thing. And not only the ones who wear UGG boots outside the home. Remember, we are all in this together. Not literally together because of social distancing, but figuratively together. So let’s find ways to be more accepting…

  • Health professionals ask us to maintain social distancing. Yet I read last week police attended dozens of large gatherings, when they really should be shutting those things down. But cops are people too, so live and let live.
  • When people post their highly filtered pictures on social media, pretend you believe they actually look like that and have been caught in a spontaneously gorgeous #iso shot. *Fire emoji.*

Take a breath, calm yourself, and gently scream this mantra: How do they not know where that goes after all these years?

I will see you when the sun comes out again…

In conclusion, we’re in this for the long haul, but we’re wiser now. Let’s reset as we embark on this next phase of the global pandemic, so we can all emerge changed for the better.

Because this will pass, my friends. And when it does, our hands may be abraded from all the hand sanitizer, our heels may think we’re dead, we may not know if it’s Thursday or Pandember, but one thing is for sure… I will still never go camping.

Photo by Matthew Tkocz on Unsplash

How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World

So… I’ve decided to fully embrace my inner introvert (and let’s be honest, outer introvert). It’s awkward because I’m not a hugger.

Anyway, I have a BRAND NEW BOOK: How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World.

It’s a guidebook for people who long for alone time, feel pressured by social demands, get overstimulated, wear an extrovert mask to get through life… An introvert survival kit full of strategies, stories, humor, inspiration, and psychological insights into the introvert life.

Here’s the cover. What do you think? Do you see doors or mirrors or works of art? I like all as metaphors for ourselves!

How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World

If you want to know more, I conducted an interview with the author (um, me) over at Louder Minds. I think I nailed it.

PS I’m mostly over at Louder Minds now – come join me!

Hello Ugg Boots My Old Friends…

Hello Ugg boots my old friends
I’ve come to walk in you again
Because a chillness softly creeping
Numbed my feet while I was sleeping
Gone is summer, now supplanted by the rain
And cold remains
I need the warmth of sheepskin…

PS I only ever wear them at home!

With apologies to Simon & Garfunkel.

Social Media Overload: How To Detox In 7 Simple Steps

As an introvert I’ve always enjoyed social media and seen it as a delightful way to connect, yet without the overwhelm that goes with too much peopling.

But lately that’s changed, and I’ve found social media unpleasant, overwhelming, irritating. Too many selfies, too much meanness, too much posturing, too much phoniness – just too much!

I also got fed up with all the virtue signalling and judgement: See what a fine mother I am because I’m tearing into this other mother for doing whatever; See how morally righteous I am because I’m spouting all this feminist/political/whatever rhetoric; See how conscious I am because I’m condemning someone for using a disposable whatever.

I was getting judgemental about all the judgement!

(I suspect people who genuinely focus on doing their personal best rarely feel the need to lecture others. I know I’m more likely to act superior about something I struggle with. But that’s a whole other conversation…)

Ironically, while feeling cantankerous about what I was seeing, I simultaneously felt compelled to check in all the time – was I getting likes? was there something new and life-changing to see? was my follower count going up?

So here’s what I did. I stepped away from my accounts and did some thinking about how I could make social media fun and productive again. I came up with 7 steps that address both:

  • The what of social media – the content you consume and share
  • The how of social media – the way you experience that content.

I implemented these steps for myself and I have to tell you: it feels great. Like I imagine it must feel to do an amazing cleanse – but without all the juicing and irritability. So actually maybe more like a chocolate cleanse. That’s a thing, I’m pretty sure.

Anyway, perhaps you’d like to give my social media detox a go yourself? If so, here are the steps.

Step 1: Streamline Your Social Media Accounts

You don’t have to be on everything or the latest thing or anything at all, really. Just consider which social networks give you a positive experience.

If you’re not sure, no need to delete the account – but consider deleting the app from your phone and see if you miss it.

On my phone I’m limiting myself to Facebook, Instagram, and I’m going to get started on Pinterest.

Step 2: Unfollow Liberally

I know some people hate-follow certain accounts, and I get it – there’s a perverse pleasure in getting yourself all riled up.

But however understandable, I want a happier feeling from my social media, so I’ve unfollowed* anyone on Insta or Facebook who:

  • Pontificates
  • Asks me to ‘like on my way through’
  • Posts an abundance of selfies
  • Is a brand or business I’m not interested in any more.

Just to clarify: I’m not saying you shouldn’t do these things, or that there’s anything wrong with them – I’m saying I don’t want them in my feed.

* On Facebook you can unfollow without unfriending, which is a nice mellow way to get stuff off your news feed without upsetting anyone. If you’d rather unfriend – go for it.

Be a minimalist and declutter your feed. Toss out whatever wastes your time, energy, or emotion. Life is short – save it for the good stuff!

Be a minimalist and declutter your feed. Toss out whatever wastes your time, energy, or emotion. Life is short - save it for the good stuff!Click To Tweet

Step 3: Turn Off Notifications

This one is powerful. Get rid of those little numbers that compel you to check in. It’s so liberating!

Just pop into your setttings, scroll down to a social account, turn off notifications, repeat.

Ahhhh…

Now the corollary to this is that you can’t replace notifications with rabid refreshing and checking in. Instead, try to limit yourself to checking in at certain times of the day. For instance:

  1. After breakfast in the morning, for 10 minutes
  2. After lunch, before heading back to your desk
  3. After dinner, before you settle in to watch Netflix or SBS On Demand.

My suggestion is 10 minutes a session, three times a day. But decide what works for you and see how that feels. You can always tweak it.

Step 4: Rethink Your Posting Strategy

This is especially relevant if you have professional profiles, as I do.

But even if not, it’s worth thinking about what your sharing strategy is. Here’s mine, as an example.

  • For me Instagram is a place to enjoy beauty, and I want my Insta to look beautiful, so I only want to share pretty things, or at least things prettily presented.
  • On my Facebook Louder Minds page I’m going to post interesting and funny items relevant to my book and blog. Simple, really.
  • My personal Facebook profile is for interacting with friends so there I’ll post personal updates and silly stuff highbrow academic discussions.
  • I’m new to Pinterest but it seems a good fit for my book readers, so I’ll investigate what to post there.

Step 5: Clean Up Your Profiles

I did this not long ago when I had some professional photos done, so my main profiles are up-to-date. But I’ve included it as a step for you because it will feel great.

Update your photo, check that your bio and other details are what you want to have out there, and take a fresh look at your cover images.

Like a mini online makeover.

Step 6: Be ‘Just Friends’ With Your Phone
(Don’t Take It To Bed Or Dinner Or Cuddle Up On The Sofa)

Once you’ve made it through steps one through five, it’s time to break up with your phone. Let’s face it – the relationship has become codependent and dysfunctional. You need to say, Phone, let’s just be friends.

Which means:

  • Don’t take your phone to dinner or out with friends
    Instead of it being a presence at the table, leave your phone in your bag. It’s time to lead more separate lives. When you’re with people, be with the people. When you check your phone, check your phone. But do it later.
  • Don’t have your phone with you when you’re relaxing
    Leave it in another room so you’re not tempted to interrupt your reading or look away from the show or from whatever you’re doing. Do the thing you’re doing.
  • Don’t take your phone to bed
    Say goodbye to being friends with benefits. And by benefits I mean alarms. Go old school and get an alarm clock. If you want your phone nearby for emergencies at night, put it in flight mode and turn off the volume.
  • Don’t wake up together
    Resist the urge to check social media as soon as you wake up. This will be a challenge! Take pleasure in stretching, breathing, and being with yourself first. Save your check-in till that first session you planned in step three.

In essence, be with who you’re with, do what you’re doing, enjoy the moment, experience one thing at a time. It’s very Zen. And it feels like a breath of fresh air.

Be with who you're with, do what you're doing, enjoy the moment, experience one thing at a time. It's very Zen. And it feels like a breath of fresh air.Click To Tweet

Step 7: Don’t Be Part Of The Noise

The final step is an important one.

Even if the accounts you follow are exactly what you want to see, the comments will inevitably make you want to gouge out your own organs in despair.

Of course as we all know, nobody’s political or religious views are changed by a Facebook comment. Nobody’s behaviour is transformed by a judgmental online tirade. Nobody’s life is enhanced by hearing every other person’s two cents worth.

Also, and I don’t mean to shock you, but there will always be people who are stupid, mean, thoughtless, clueless, having a bad day, caught up in their own pain. This will never change.

So… how to deal with the pointless arguing and nastiness?

My aim for myself is to not be part of this social media noise. To try and feel detached from the hubbub when it crosses my path, to let it scroll by.

My aim for myself is to not be part of this social media noise. To try and feel detached from the hubbub when it crosses my path, to let it scroll by.Click To Tweet

To fill my feeds with as much intelligence and art and beauty and humour as I can, and to let that drown out the rest.

To create and share content of my own that aims for intelligence and art and beauty and humour.

Along with the other detox steps, this is already making my social media far more uplifting and positive.

Will you join me?

The Invention Of Dieting

One day, the devil was looking for a new form of torture.

‘I’ve got it,’ he said. ‘Dieting!!’

The little baby devils all gathered round, their tiny devil eyes glistening with glee. ‘How will it work?’ they squealed.

‘Simple,’ said the devil. ‘A diet will tell people what to eat, when, and how much. It will torture them in three ways.’ He turned up the heat and leaned in close to the baby devils. They were terribly ugly. But, he reasoned, he was no oil painting himself.

Dieting Devil

‘First, they’ll eat less food and their metabolisms will adapt so their bodies need fewer calories. Then – and here’s the masterstroke – if they stop dieting they’ll not only regain lost weight, they’ll gain extra weight because their bodies will be more efficient.’

‘That’s devilish!’ cried the baby devils. (They did not have vast vocabularies.)

‘What’s the second way?’ enquired a nerdy baby devil from the back.

‘The diet will forbid their favourite foods,’ replied the devil. ‘Eventually the deprivation will make them give up the diet and binge on all the things they’ve been denied. Calorie overload!’

The baby devils chortled with delight.

‘That’s not even the best part,’ cried the devil. He did love an audience. Even an ugly one.

Dieting Devil Nerd

‘The third way they’ll be tortured is they’ll blame themselves. Even though metabolism change is human physiology and bingeing after deprivation is human nature, they’ll see it as personal failure. And lack of willpower. They’ll wallow in guilt and self-loathing. They’ll be miserable!’

The baby devils erupted into an orgy of cackles.

Ever felt like dieting is HELL? Here's the reason why...Click To Tweet

The nerdy baby devil at the back piped up again. ‘And if they blame themselves instead of the diet, then they’ll keep on dieting and be perpetually miserable.’

‘Exactly,’ said the devil. This little nerdy guy was annoying but right.

The devil sat back, turned up the heat again and smiled. This was his best idea yet.

NOTE: This is an edited extract from How to Be Thin in a World of Chocolate. Now available in book, audio and e-book format.

Minimalism For Beginners

A gallery of inspiration for living a simpler, more minimal life. More tips coming soon…

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