Grapevines, G-Strings, And Gravity

I remember attending aerobics classes in the late 80s and doing old-school moves to ‘THE ONLY WAY IS UP’ by Yazz. Grapevine, anyone? With the little hand weights?

We wore MINUSCULE G-STRING LEOTARDS over super-shiny tights. And leg warmers. And headbands with high ponytails. We thought we were SO CUTE! Imagine if there’d been social media in those days. MY EYES! MY EYES!

Nobody brought a water bottle to class, yet somehow we made it through without becoming desiccated husks and passing out en masse. If you desperately needed to stop, you could run over to the WATER FOUNTAIN for a quick hit of hydration and E. coli.

Studio floors were solid concrete in the 80s, so we all got pretty savage shin splints. Sports bras weren’t yet a thing but high-impact was, so, well, let’s just say it was a time of immense JAUNTINESS.

Ah, but who cares – the 80s were full of optimism and joie de vivre and physiotherapy appointments we didn’t yet know we needed. It sure felt like the only way was was up!

There is NO WAY you can resist dancing to this…

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Bonjour! I'm an introvert, minimalist, and award-winning author. I've managed to make a mess of most things and a minor success of a few. My books are: How To Be Elegant • How To Be An Introvert In An Extrovert World • How To Be Thin In A World Of Chocolate. Read more about me here. To stay in touch, follow me on Instagram or sign up for my delightful dispatches.

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